Sided

Title: Sided
Author: coffeewordangel
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: soft R
POV: Gerard, third
Summary: Two Gerards are always better than one.
Disclaimer: Completely fake.
Author Notes: Crack. Written eons ago (before the explanation of the hair *g*). Not written for wtf27 exactly but the subsequent ones in this verse sort of are so, unofficially for that I suppose. I always do these things unofficially. Prompt 21: Doppelganger



One day Gerard woke up and he was just there; sitting on the couch with Frank, black hair long and shiny soft and wrapped around Frank’s finger. Jealousy skittered low in Gerard’s stomach like spider legs.

“Hey Gee!” Frank greeted with a bright smile. “Look who I found! He was just wandering around on the bus.”

Gerard stared at himself circa 2002 and felt incredibly old. Black locks fell into his slightly chubby face, eyeliner was smudged around his hazel eyes like he’d slept in it, and he had Frank practically sprawled in his lap.

“Hey,” Gerard greeted his doppelganger, desperately wishing he still drank.

He settled for a cigarette.

“Can we keep him?” Frank asked, big doe eyes and pouty lips like some kid bringing home a stray kitten. “Pleeease? We can call him Gee and you can be Gerard.”

Gerard just shrugged and shuffled back to his bunk. He didn’t bother pointing out that he already was Gerard.

***

“Why aren’t you freaked out by this?” Gerard asked one day when he found Frank alone and not attached at the hip to ‘Gee’.

Frank looked at him like he’d grown two heads. “What do you mean?”

Gerard tried very hard not to roll his eyes or sigh in a long-suffering manner. His shrink said that it was isolating.

“My clone or my past self or whatever just shows up and you don’t find that weird?”

Frank shrugged and slid his hands into his pockets. “Not really, no. It’s not, like, the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to us. Remember when Bob turned into a three-year-old last summer? Or that time in Italy when Mikey turned into a cat? At least this time we can still perform.”

“I guess.”

Gerard ran his fingers through his short, platinum hair and tried to ignore the look Frank gave ‘Gee’ when he came back in the room.

***

No one told him when they started fucking. He walked into the venue and Ray and Bob were standing outside the dressing room looking uncomfortable.

“Why are we hanging out in the hall?” Gerard asked, sipping his coffee. “Shouldn’t we be getting ready?”

Ray and Bob exchanged a look but didn’t answer.

Gerard sighed and went to open the door. It was locked. Then he heard a thump and a low, liquid moan that he knew better than his own name.

He felt like he was going to throw up all over the tacky blue Berber carpet.

“How long?” he croaked.

Bob gave him a sympathetic look. “About a week.”

“Motherfucker,” Gerard murmured. He took a second to center himself like he’d been taught: ten deep, even breaths to tranquility. “Remind Frank we have a show in an hour. I’m gonna go get ready in the bathroom.”

***

It was another week before Gee came on to him.

“What are you doing?” Gee asked, coming into Gerard’s hotel room without even knocking.

“Plotting how long it will take cigarettes to kill me,” Gerard intoned, not looking up when Gee straddled his legs.

“No, really.”

Gerard opened his eyes and glared at who he used to be. “Why are you here? Go away. Go fuck Frankie or something.”

Gee smirked and shifted his ass over Gerard’s thighs. “Fine case of self-loathing you got there, Gerard.”

“I don’t hate myself. I hate you.”

Gee brought his face down until his nose was almost touching Gerard’s and, oh, had he ever been this sexy? Really? “I am you, honey.”

Gerard took a shaky breath and willed his dick to stop twitching. That was just disturbing. Gee reached up and pulled gently on his blonde hair.

“I’m not sure how I feel about this. I don’t think I like me...you with blonde hair.” He paused for a second, head tilted like he was imagining himself in four years. “Although it makes us look like a serial killer. That’s kinda hot. But why blonde?”

Gerard swallowed hard a few times. “I did it when I got over Frank.”

Gee chuckled low and sad. “Oh, baby, you aren’t over shit.”

His chest seized and he felt like crying and then he was kissing himself; slow and thorough, with liberal use of teeth and tongue. He groaned.

“This is weird,” Gerard protested.

Gee wriggled against him, nipping in all the right places. “Who knows you better than me?”

Gerard gave in. It was kind of like masturbation, right?

***

When Gee finally disappeared, one month to the day of his appearing on the bus in the first place, Frank walked around like the world was ending. His eyes were red and swollen from crying and he reacted listlessly to absolutely everything. Gerard wanted to shake him.

Finally he just snapped.

“Just fucking stop it, okay?” Gerard snarled at Frank. Fuck therapy and tranquility. Pissed off felt good.

Frank blinked at him. “Stop what?”

“Stop mourning over me. I’m right fucking here. Little bit older, different hair, but it’s still me.”

“I...” Frank floundered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think...”

Gerard growled. “No. You didn’t. What do you miss about him? The way he fucked you?”

Frank blushed bright red. “He loved me,” he whispered.

Gerard felt like hitting him upside the head. Instead he settled for fisting the front of Frank’s battered ‘Kill Em All’ shirt and pulling.

“I love you, you ass,” Gerard whispered fiercely before pressing his lips to Frank’s in a bruising kiss.

***

Later, in Gerard’s hotel bed with the curtains drawn and the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door, Frank stirred against his chest. He blinked up at Gerard before smiling sweetly in a way that made Gerard’s heart clench painfully.

“What are you thinking about?” Frank asked.

“You,” Gerard replied with a smile. “And how this almost didn’t happen.”

“Mmm,” Frank mumbled, snuggling against Gerard’s side. “Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

“I fucked him.”

Frank sat up and narrowed his eyes. “Fucked who?”

God but pissed off, jealous Frank was sexy. Gerard smothered a completely inappropriate urge to giggle. “Gee. I fucked Gee.”

“Oh.” Frank settled back down and then poked Gerard in the side. “You fucked yourself and you didn’t invite me to watch? You’re, like, the worst boyfriend ever.”

Gerard rolled his eyes and nibbled on Frank’s neck. “Tell you what, next time I fuck myself you can have a front row seat.”